Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Izzy - Off and Running

I should really keep up with this dumb blog..

Except I'm trying to keep up with 3 AP classes and 2 community college classes. And I'm turning into Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower and also trying to participate. Heh.

For all of my "pro tips" I'm awfully scattered. 7 months after the end of a rough relationship I just find myself searching for confidence. But hey, I'm not still trying to be a sociopath and not feel anything, so that's a good step forward. I actually feel ready for a healthy stable relationship, but I live in hillbilly hell.... I still feel something for Ross (my good ex that I blew it with) but hah.. Oops not gonna happen. And there's very few people I think I could handle being with here in this tiny slice of hell.

I try to keep my mind on the future. In a year's time I won't live in my mother's hoarder house and I'll be able to be myself without prior judgment.

Deep thoughts for so early. Probably hunger talking.

Aaaanyways. Senior year. Yeah. Yay... What the #%^%$# am I doing with my life....

Ross and I started talking a little bit more, and his advice was that I should just go for it and the rest will just work out. I'm not sure how much I believe him. In a year I could be anywhere. I could go to school in Chicago if I find the money. But considering I come from a family that's well off, financial help will probably not happen. Despite that I have two older sisters paying tuition. And my mother has mentioned taking my trust fund if I do something she dislikes... So continues the masquerade.

The more college apps I do, the more I wish my life was actually a struggle so I could flipping know what to write about. Ah the struggles of living a normal life? Hm.

Let's see, senior year... Only tip I've got right now is to keep a positive attitude. If you tell yourself everything sucks and that you just want to get out without doing any work, you're going to fail. You're subconsciously telling yourself to give up.

This message brought to you by Shia LeBeouf:
Izzy out!

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