Monday, August 10, 2015

Izzy - Senior Year

Hey guys-

So as the last week is coming up I'm honestly just thinking about graduation and getting way ahead of myself.

I've got so much summer work to finish it's actually comical. Ha. Ha ha...

But seriously. This will be my final year at this god-forsaken small town high school. Graduating class of 200-300. I seriously hope I get into a college across the country with lots of people. But then, people... Crowds scare the living daylights out of me. Don't go to Macy's in NYC on Black Friday
after Thanksgiving if you value your life. (My sister clearly only valued those boots.)

GAHHH. What the **** am I going to do with my mess of a life?!

(I don't know what you're talking about, I NEVER curse. Heh. Those stars are clearly to cover the word poop or other childish humor that I hide behind.)

But srs. I know how much I've changed in the last year, and if this year doesn't kill me or at least try, I'm not sure what to do with myself. Ohh!

Pro-tip #1: don't try to be a hero because you're "sure" you know who you are.

I used to be the kid who believed every word out of my mother's mouth. Conservative Christian who told me I was basically never going to be as good as my sisters at anything and that I was too lazy to have a chance. I can see now that she was so wrong about me. My views and beliefs as a person after it clicked that I didn't like what I heard became every attempt to be the opposite. In 5th grade we went over genetics and I saw that I had a widow's peak just like she did. I ripped that hunk of hair out of my head. Thank you, side part.

Who you are as a person changes every moment of every day. It's your principals that you live by that shouldn't change. Let's say you have a personal rule that you can't ever do something dumb like light a candle for whatever serious reason. There will come a day that you have to light that candle to see. Strike the match or stub your toe, if not worse. I can tell you from experience that you will have to do things you don't like in your lifetime just to get by. Maybe you hate public speaking, or are like me and told yourself you'd never get into drama. Maybe you're too scared of the flame to light a match for a single little candle. It's gonna burn you at some point if you're not careful, but you still have to light the match.

Ah, lovely digression.

Holy crap I have a year to figure out my life and I still don't even know what I'm typing. WHAT IS THIS.

Oh yeah. So. Band camp. Final "pow-wow" where the seniors all get to tell the rookies and the rest of the band why they're crazy enough to stay in marching band. I almost start crying because I'm sitting there next to Ross thinking "I've got less than a year to make an official apology to him and he deserves for it to be to his face." Then I start remembering all the really awesome times we had and I almost start crying because I'm stupid. Dang as much as I've hated high school, I'm gonna miss it a lot.

Here's to a great senior year. It is what we make it.



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